emotional eating 101: 5 steps to cope with your emotions with kindness

Are you an emotional eater? This is one of the biggest struggles clients face when it comes to intuitive eating and I know it was one of the. biggest hurdles I faced in my own journey to food freedom. Just yesterday, I found myself needing to tap into this process because I was feeling stressed and overwhelmed! And let’s be real, we live in a pretty freaking stressful world and are oftentimes rewarded for increasing our stress rather than decreasing it. It’s soooooooo easy to find yourself scraping the bottom of a bag of chips without even realizing that you ate the entire thing in a stress-induced binge….it leaves you feeling emotionally depleted, disappointed, and ultimately doesn’t serve or nourish you. And you still feel stressed and frustrated afterward. Annoying.

Learning how to cope with emotions with kindness is a powerful tool to have in your toolbox when it comes to healing your relationship with food and one that you will use on repeat. Dealing with emotions is HARD, especially those unpleasant ones that are rooted in stress and lack.

If you do find yourself leaning on food for emotional support and coping, this 5 step process will help you take a step back and explore how you can cope with your emotions with kindness. And spoiler alert: sometimes it means eating the damn food!

1. Acknowledge that this is normal! You are a human and need to cope with difficult emotions sometimes. If there wasn’t some benefit to finding comfort in food, we wouldn’t do it. There is nothing wrong with you if you find yourself seeking comfort in food, I promise.

2. Get curious, center yourself, and tap into your awareness. Using food for comfort is often a means to check out and not have to experience whatever tough emotions or stress we are facing. When it comes to choosing differently, just like with all habits, awareness is the critical first step to get you from where you are to where you want to be. Set that intention to notice what comes up without judgment. And if you *do* notice physical hunger is there, that’s your cue to eat! Think of it as the “hanger” side of things…perhaps nourishing yourself and revisiting the emotions is what is needed now.

3. If it’s not physical hunger, Instead of trying to hide or drown out your emotions, ask yourself  - what emotions are there? Are you frustrated that your significant other didn’t unload the dishwasher? Are you sad that you don’t get to see your friend who lives on the other side of the world? Are you overwhelmed by the state of the world? What else is there? This emotion wheel is an incredible resource to keep on hand to really drill down on exaaaactly what you are feeling:

4. Ask yourself: What do I need now? This can be as simple as texting a friend to meet your need for connection. Maybe it’s unloading the dishwasher and then having a chat with your significant other about unloading the dishwasher more regularly. Or it can be foundational care needs - taking a quick nap for rest, going for a 5 minute walk, or calling a friend. I do want to pause here and be VERY clear that this is *NOT* intended to be a way to ignore or delay physical hunger, but rather a way to make sure your needs are being met in a way that ultimately serves you and nourishes you. Sometimes the biggest difference between the two is the intention behind the action.

5. If you *do* decide to still snack for comfort, remember, that’s OKAY. Eating for comfort is a normal human response to stress and you are not bad for leaning into that on occasion. But here is the important part: have the snack and *move on with your day*. Don’t dwell on it or shame yourself for it.

If you do notice that food seems to be the only coping mechanism or source of comfort that you have, there is some space for exploration and finding new tools and strategies to make sure that your basic needs are being met.