quick tips: how to not lose your mind when your family brings up food, diets, and weight at the holidays
Picture this: you are at the holiday table, going about your business, mindfully enjoying your meal, when all of a sudden, BAM! Aunt Karen comments about how little you have on your plate.
Or how much you have on your plate.
Or that you left food uneaten.
Or that you ate your entire meal.
I could rant for. ev. er. about how we all just need to mind our own business when it comes to food (and body, if we are being totally honest). Like, why is it that there is this super strong urge to comment on what others are eating?! Whhhhy?!
Okay, I’ll spare you the rant this time, BUT, I do want to arm you with some tools and strategies for setting the boundaries you deserve so that you can enjoy the holiday in peace and actually enjoy the time with your family.
Ditch the black-and-white thinking. You CAN love your family AND need to set boundaries with them to respect you, your health, and your body. Loving someone and needing to set a boundary with them is not mutually exclusive.
Talk to them ahead of time. If there are specific people you are concerned about making comments, plan to talk to them ahead of time, in private. Using a non-violent communication model can be especially helpful in these situations to get your point across in a non-accusatory way.
Be prepared for the private convos. Have a few phrases practiced + ready. Examples: “During Thanksgiving, I would appreciate it if we wouldn’t talk about or criticize anyone’s body, food choices, or diets, including your own.” Or “I have been working hard on connecting with my body and it can be triggering and confusing when people discuss food choices, bodies, and diets. I’d appreciate it if we could avoid those topics at Thanksgiving – could you support me and agree to that?”
Be prepared for anything. Have convo changers in your back pocket IF someone brings it up. Examples: “Can we change the topic to something other than bodies + diets? I’d love to hear about (insert interesting thing here – vacation, book, favorite movie, etc.)” Or “Dieting has been harmful to me; I’m trying to steer clear of these convos and would love it if we could talk about something else.”
Create a calm down plan. Have tools and strategies ready if you start to feel overwhelmed. Examples: excuse yourself from the convo, do 3 minutes of box breathing, text a friend, save an affirmation in your phone…anything that helps remove you from the trigger and reground yourself.
The holidays are HARD and they are even harder when well-meaning (or not-so-well-meaning) family members bring up food, weight, and diets. To get the support and coaching you deserve to find food freedom and navigate these convos in the future, click the link below to schedule your FREE discovery call and let’s get started!